Communicating with Respect: An Interview with Lisa Wysocki

Pick up any self-help book and the language often uses condescension or fear. We find both techniques ineffective -- and found a refreshing departure in Lisa Wysocki’s book, Don’t Waste Money, Spend it! The author communicates with her audience as peers ("Remember, I'm on your side" she reminds them) and she's a colorful storyteller. It turns out Ms. Wysocki is a former technology marketer, having managed marketing communications at Ziff Davis. She has also held account executive positions at Kodak, Digital and AT&T Wireless. In this interview, she shares some of her communications insight.

Tell us about your book
My book Don’t Waste Money, Spend It! is considered personal finance however, I like to think it could be considered humor.  I market it as a romp through my adventures in thriftiness and frugality. 

My book covers four basic principals that lead to personal wealth; pay yourself first, build a nest egg; learn the difference between spending money and wasting money, and try to recover your money if you realize that it has been wasted.

Who’s your target audience?
Anybody who works because they have to (they need the money, as opposed to other reasons for working such as altruism or a sense of purpose).

How do you approach your topic?
First of all I share many of my own follies and ridiculous mistakes so that I do not position myself as being superior to my readers.  I want them to think “If she can do it, so can I”. I also like to think that my book is unlike the other personal finance books out there that are so complicated and risky and that one is ultimately intimidated into inaction. I really try to keep my messages simple, friendly and easy to implement.   

I do not position myself as being superior to my readers.

How should marketers use storytelling to keep their audiences engaged?
Keep the stories short.  Do not lose sight of the fact that your writing is non-fiction therefore does not require an intricate plot.

Try to use stories as a device to make a point easier to understand and more memorable.

You obviously find humor a good storytelling technique.
Yes, but I always caution writers to be careful with humor.  Funny stories need to come off as a natural extension of the author, otherwise they feel contrived. Just think of the book tours!  Your audience may be expecting a stand-up comedian.  If that is the persona you have created, and you cannot deliver it, you'll disappoint your audience.

In addition, it is best to aim all of the humor toward yourself.  Otherwise, you run the risk of insulting your audience. Remember when Chris Rock poked fun at Jude Law last year at the Oscars? He had the unexpected result of making millions of people feel sorry for Jude Law.  If in doubt about using humor or not, it’s best not to.   

Deciding to use humor is like the proverbial buying of 'The Dress.' If you are not sure, leave it on the rack.

You talk about confrontational communication, especially when it comes to customer disputes.  What’s the key to making these communications successful?
Confrontational communication should be used as a last resort.  I like to think of it as the” scorched earth” approach.  I really do recommend being reasonable, because it is less stressful and gets better results. 

I love to start every dispute with the innocuous phrase “I was both surprised and disappointed."

However, sometimes you do need to escalate and often it can evolve into confrontation.  What you need to get across in this kind of situation is that you are going to keep trying until you are satisfied. 

Keep in mind that you may not win in the conventional sense that this will be resolved exactly how you wanted it.  Instead, resolution can be the contentment that you exhausted all options before moving on.

Who taught you good spending behavior?
My parents grew up during the Depression and that made them very careful with their money. They lived well below their means and weren't materialistic. This behavior and attitude rubbed off on me and my siblings.

Even though I was raised in an affluent community, I always felt that one had to work hard for money and that it was something not to be wasted.

Can you share some of the advice you give in your special section on kids?
There is nothing like modeling good spending habits. That is how I learned from my parents. My mother always economized by making things herself, cutting coupons, returning things that did not satisfy her, and buying just the basics.

When I shop with my son that he sees me doing price comparisons, putting an item back on the shelve because it is too expensive or pulling out coupons and store savings cards.

I also have learned to say no to him and to explain when I do that the item might be poor quality, over priced or unnecessary. 

Do have another book in the works?
I just wrote an article entitled Stickers Gone Wild about the fad of defacing one’s own car with these clubby round acronyms plastered all over. 

I also keep thinking about a book that satirizes the increasing demands school’s make on parents and the hyper-parenting that it creates.  The name of the book would be, I've Already Been To School, Now It’s Their Turn.

What are some of your favorite books?   
The Lovely Bones, The Kite Runner, The Secret History, A Confederacy of Dunces (my favorite book of all time) and anything by Steinbeck, Irving and Clavell.